My First CBT Session...

Hello :) ,
Hold up- what the heck is CBT??
Well, it stands for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Did that help? No?
Okay, so a few years ago, I started to have  weird things happen to my mind randomly, stuff that I described as 'being in a dream', and they got so severe we started making numerous trips to the doctors trying to find out what was happening.

Eventually, we came to the conclusion it was my anxiety. I thought this would be the end of it all. Now that I knew what it was, surely I'd be able to stop it. But no, that didn't happen at all. Instead it got worse. As I got older, the panic attacks and scarring thoughts also got worse. What really freaked me out, were the doctors I visited. Being told I'm too young to suffer from anxiety and then that it would only get worse when I grow up, weren't  the sort of things you want to be told.


I over think things a lot, I find it hard to joke around sometimes, I don't get 'banter'. If I get embarrassed, the thought won't  leave for the next couple of days. But it doesn't mean I'm boring. Please look out for people like me. You can't normally tell when someone's having an attack, but it never hurt to be more sensitive.

So after revisiting my school nurse, I was referred to CAMHS, a mental health service. This was only a few months ago, but today I had a little introduction to CBT. Therapy for the way things happen in my brain .

So basically, today we talked about panic attacks, and the science behind them.

Many anxiety sufferers have been told about the whole 'fight or flight' scenario, but what does that actually mean?
Once Upon a time, when WiFi didn't exist, we were cave men. In the session, the person used  little dolls to represent my family, and a Lego block to represent a tiger. She said to imagine walking across land with my brothers, (were really cool cavemen btw) when suddenly we see a tiger. What do we do? Our brain tells us to run away from the danger, in this case, the tiger. In modern day, school worries, financial or health problems. When we have panic attacks, a ton of stuff is going on inside our body.
And there's a reason for all of it! For example, I get weird feelings in my stomach. This is because  my digestive system has shut down in order for my blood to be with the vital organs, like the heart. When you run really fast, your heart needs to work really hard, right? That's why.I need the toilet, because my brain doesn't want to run away with a full bladder.. it makes sense, I hate doing pe if I need the toilet. I get headaches because i frown, and my blood pressure rises. This is why you might get back pains too. I get hot, then cold, then hot again, because of the blood moving towards the vital organs. It doesn't go near the tips of my fingers or my head. Finally, my vision goes blurry because when faced with a tiger for e.g., I'd be darting my eyes around trying to see if there were more of them surrounding me.

Knowing the science behind why we panic helped a lot! I really want to make a therapy journal, so for those who aren't comfortable talking to someone can find  out everything I do from my sessions. So why am I so open about it? Quite frankly, I don't  know. I've never hidden away from the  fact I suffer from this. However, I completely understand why some people don't feel the same way, because it can be really hard to talk to a complete stranger about it when you don't want go come across as needy or attention seeking. Of course I'd be annoyed  if someone told someone else about me without me knowing, because it's an important part of my life now and I'd want to tell them myself. That's one reason I'm doing this!


For someone who can't relate to any of this, this is a really boring  post and I get that. But I also know that there are a load of people going through what I am, but maybe don't have the facilities that I'm lucky to have.

My next appointment is in a couple of weeks, and because this was just an introductory session, the next session will be much more useful and interesting to write and read about, I promise!

Don't give up on me, I'll make this journal worth while, because  I really want to help you.

Lots of love, Ciara x


Ps, this doesn't mean I wont  be doing fashion and lifestyle posts too ;)

My Style Icons - Emma Watson

The majority of people have someone they look up to, and I'm no different! It can be hard, especially as a young person, to find the right balance between being inspired by them and their choices, and starting to copy their every move.

But anyway, I'm a huge fashion nerd so I thought it fitting to find my three style icons to share with you guys! Today's blog post is going to start with one, and then hopefully I'll upload the next couple soon! This way I can write more! 

EmmaWatson 

Because, well, it's Emma Watson! Since she was 11, Emma has been in front of cameras on films and on red carpets. Therefore, the pressure is on to look absolutely stunning (she always does anyway) all the time. 

Her fashion sense is gorgeous and the clothes she wears are so elegant. 

Here are a few of my favourite outfits :

Granted they probably cost a hell of a lot of money, but she earned it so that doesn't matter, and I'm sure you can find alternatives. (Like I'm gonna show you now 😁)

Original Emma

ASOS Outfit

Top - £26

Trousers - £36

Shoes - £39

Bag - £70 (prices I know, but it's Fred Perry)

Total Outfit Cost - £171

This basically turned out as an Emma Watson appreciation post.

Lots of love, Ciara X

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Why I Love Autumn

Hey guys!

So Autumn is back and i am very excited!!

Autumn is one of those seasons where half of the time i love it, but the other half i want Summer back. But focusing on the positive side of things, i decided i'd do a list of all the reasons i just love Autumn!

1. Halloween - obvs
    I love halloween, so so much. It's great.

2. Halloween parties are back
    Not like i'm cool enough to get invited to one (hint hint...hinthinthint) but i'm guessing they're pretty cool.

3. AW15
    The fashion...oh my god, perfection.

4. It's cold
    I hate the cold, but at the same time i love it because i get to wear big fluffy scarves and gloves etc etc! And cute jumpers, and just basically winter stuff.

5. The colours
    Browns and oranges are all over the place and i feel so seasonal walking around stores or flicking through decor magazines! They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

6. Candles are cool
    Candles are everything. I wish i could buy more of them but i just never get around to it! Make sure you remind me! Anything Christmassy makes me feel so happy<3

7. People dress up their pets
    I don't like it when people dress up their pets in ridiculous costumes every single day, however i find it adorable when it happens ONE day a year. Just look at Zoe and Alfie's pug, Nala-she looks adorable on Zoe's twitter!!

8. It Christmas in a month or two
    Because it's Christmas, that's it really.

9. It's New Years
    New years parties (which i  am also not invited to) seem like such a blast!

10. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN A MONTH OR THREE!!!!!
      3rd of January- make a memo guys








Thanks for reading! Make sure you follow me on my social media below! Love Ciara x


Twitter - @imciaramurphy

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Dublin Castle and Product Design Exhibition

As i'm typing i'm sitting in my Aunt's and Uncle's kitchen in Dublin.

I come to Ireland often for my summer holiday, but even though we've been through the town various times, we haven't been to the beautiful Dublin Castle before.

It really was beautiful.

Who knew i'd get away with wearing shorts in Ireland!

I couldn't resist capturing some stunning photos from around Dublin Castle and some sneaky inspirational pics from the Product Design exhibition. If you follow me on social things, you'll have seen some of these already, but if not, take a look!

Bye Bye Skinny Jeans?

Yes. It is true. Skinny jeans may be going out of fashion.

I've read a few articles on this and decided to write my own to have my say on the whole matter!

So for a while now, there has been various rumours about this matter but they have always been forgotten within a few days or so. However, over the past few days alone, i have seen quite a few.

Skinny jeans first came about last century (that sounds weird...) and really started to become popular after various celebs started to brave them. Skinny jeans are known to be the fashion item that refuses to fade, and it's pretty clear. Years on from that, the thigh-hugging trousers are still going strong and it's no surprise. Many people feel uncomfortable in them, but we'll get to that later, however you can't deny that they go with just about anything and everything!

But if skinny jeans go, what will replace them?

Well, remember a few months/seasons whatever ago, when the 70's came into fashion again? Well, it's here again! Flares (and bootcuts) are a major possibility for making a second breakthrough.

Like i said, many people don't feel comfortable in skinny jeans. One woman from stylist.com , wrote a similar article explaining how it felt to have to lie on the floor of the dressing room to force the horrid zip up. However, when she tried on some flares, she felt so comfortable and confident. She mentioned how flattering the trousers were compared to skinnies. Have you heard of the phrase, 'confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear' ? It's true! And i know i feel so much better about myself when i'm wearing clothes i feel comfortable in.

Celebrities have already gone back a few decades, sporting their trendy new trousers too.

I mean, look at them! You can really tell that these flared and boot cut jeans are so flattering.

Flattering + Comfortable = Perfect New Fashion Trend

I haven't tried them yet, but i definitely want to. Have you tried them recently? Leave a comment and let me know your opinion on the matter; i'd love to know!


I hope your holidays are lovely and i'll see you in my next post.

Love Ciara xo


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Online 'Summer' Shoe Wish list 2015

Hi everybody!

How's your summer holiday?


So the reason i put Summer in apostrophes in the title, is because i live in England. Need i say more? Okay, so, we've had some sunny days...mostly in May and the start of June, but recently the weather has been far from summery!

But i can dream.

So, i have done some online window shopping (which is what i spend the majority of my spare time doing) and have come across some great finds which i couldn't wait to share with you. So without further ado, let's get started!

Can i just point out that i started writing this as a general wish list, but it changed to shoes halfway through because i found too many amazing shoes. Therefore, if you like, i'll do another summer wish list for clothes.

Black Ankle Strap Block Heel Sandals

£19.99

I really love these sandals.  They come in a variety of summery colours...and black. These would be so practical because the heel isn't too high and they look so cute. I could picture me wearing these with many different summer outfits.

Shop Here

Lilac Double Strap Patent Block Heels

£6.00

Okay so i am so excited to write about these because look! Just look at them!! So i get that they may not be everyone's cup of tea, but i really love the whole style of the shoe. It would go with so many outfits (it comes in black too) and the cherry on the top is the fact that they're in the sale! (These were originally £17.99)

Shop Here

Rust Ankle Strap Block Heels

£9.00

 These shoes are a lil' quirky with the little texture on the straps and front strap. Yeah i don't know how else to explain it...you know, the wavy things? The colour is so nice meaning it would match with shorts, jeans, skirts and even dresses! The heel is still a reasonable height for a sandal, and these are also in the sale.

Shop Here

Laced up Sandals

£30.00

So granted, these sandals are a little pricey compared to the others. A) It's asos B) The other shoes were in the sale

However, i love them. I've seen these style of sandals around quite a bit recently online but not in stores yet. This pair only comes in black but trying to picture them in any other colour makes me feel a bit nauseous.  

Shop Here

Suede Tie Sandals

£68

I know i know, the majority of people aren't prepared to pay £68 for a pair of sandals, and no, i'm not either. The heel is normal for many people, but for me it's a little too high. I really like the way they've used suede instead of a material like leather, however in England, with the weather being so unpredictable...well i just hope it hasn't started raining on anyone yet whilst wearing these!

Shop Here

Okay guys so that is it! My Online 'Summer' Shoe Wish list - done and dusted. It has taken me a ridiculously long time to create this post so i really do hope you all...enjoy? Or at least have a little inspiration, i don't know.

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Three Things Secondary School Has Taught Me

Hey guys!

Sooo it's nearly the Summer holidays! Who's excited? I know I am ;)


In September, I'm going into Year 11, which is the last year in 'school' in England, and then I'll go onto college or sixth form.

The past few years have been great, but of course, life decides to throw unnecessary obstacles in there. However, I've learnt to make the most of these obstacles, and learn more than just how to find the area of an angle in a triangle!

1 - Those 'mean girls' just aren't worth your time

      Every school has mean girls, and they can make secondary school horrible. It's hard to just ignore them, but think of it this way, there spending their pathetic little lives trying to find something to comment on. They actually make time, yeah, pathetic right? Well, they're your fan, girl! Think about it,  we've all seen those haters hating on our idol's photo on instagram right? That's basically what those bullies are doing! If anything, embrace them being so obsessed with you! Act like you're famous; they obviously think you are.

2 - Popularity really isn't everything

    I've never been popular, but I'm not going to pretend I didn't dream of becoming popular in my first couple of years. I did. Big time. Once you get to about half way through year nine, those popular people CAN become kinda snobby and mean, resulting in everyone disliking them. It's actually quite amusing, because they still think everyone likes them, when they don't. My advice? Have a small group of friends, I have around 6-7 girlfriends and then we hang out with a few guys occasionally. Do not strive to be popular or have everyone like you, because you'll seem desperate, and no one will want to be friends with you. Therefore, you've just wasted the best years of Secondary School! Not cool. At the moment, at the end of year ten (and I know I'm not the only one that thinks this) no one is actually liked by everyone. I'm sure someone doesn't like me, but that's alright. I love my life at the moment, and I really enjoy hanging out with my few friends :)


3 - Year eight will probably be your best year

    Ok, so, in year seven, you'll have your CATS exams, which are nothing to worry about. But unfortunately for you, and them, there will always be those people who stress too much about exams and will try to make you as stressed! Don't fall into the trap!!! Also in your first year, everyone will want you to make new friends, but most of the friendships at my school  form in year eight, cue it being the best year. In year eight, you might have little tests along the way, but now that you're settled, you can start to relax and meet lots of new people! Now I'm not contradicting myself, meeting new people and making friends is different from striving to be popular. Please don't try to be fake just because you think you're acting cool, being yourself is seriously important because these will likely be your friends for a very long time, and you'll share so many adventures with them! It's a lot easier to make friends in years seven and eight than in the older years.


These tips that I have learnt have shaped who I am now. I've slowly turned into one of those people who are happy with life! :)

Whether you're starting a new school, college, uni, in the middle of exams - Good Luck <3


Lots of love, Ciara xxx

Twitter&Instagram - imciaramurphy

Top 5 Motivational Quotes For The New School Year

Hello everybody,

I doubt it's just me, but every school year, every week, every month etc. I swear to myself that I'll have a new, fresh start! However sometimes, lots of unexpected things can happen which can put you right down!

I've gathered up my favourite motivational quotes which have certainly helped me over the past few months, so I hope they help you too!

Love Ciara x

Twitter/Instagram - @imciaramurphy

Spring Wish List - ASOS

Hey guys,

 ASOS is by far my favourite online store, ever since my brother introduced it to me. Now that it is officially spring, i went on and browsed through the new clothing, shoes and accessories and drooled pointlessly at the gorgeous items. So, now that i have admitted to myself that it is pretty unlikely i'm going to purchase any of these items in the next 24 hours, i have decided to pick my top five fashion items from the store and share them with all of you <3

1. Vero Moda Saclloped Edge Short- £28

I absolutely love this style of shorts, and i've seen them everywhere. Now i know where to find them! They're almost cartoon like and make a lovely change to simple denim shorts. Also, the colour is really cute.

2.Lace up Leather Brogues- £35

They might not look it in this photo, but on the website they are a minty colour. I do love a pair of brogues, and it's not hot enough to wear sandals yet, even though i would probably prefer to wear these shoes in the autumn or winter.

3.New Look Crochet Tab Pocket Backpack- £24.99 I think this backpack is so pretty! It would be perfect for days out or shopping trips, however bearing in mind my school workload, not so perfect for school! You probably already know, but ASOS sells other shops products but at a reduced price, which means you  can get high quality clothes for reasonable prices.

4. Ted Baker Zip Crosshatch Bowler- £129
No, i would never spend this much on a bag, however, i really love it! The material used is what makes me pick out Ted Baker from a crowd because it's a plastic-y material that isn't used often at all.

                  5. You're Freaking Meowt Print- £18
I love this t-shirt! It's simple and plain, and the fact it has only two colours means it will go with just about anything, and you can't have too many of those shirts in your wardrobe. Plus, i love cats...

 Ciara x