My First CBT Session...

Hello :) ,
Hold up- what the heck is CBT??
Well, it stands for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Did that help? No?
Okay, so a few years ago, I started to have  weird things happen to my mind randomly, stuff that I described as 'being in a dream', and they got so severe we started making numerous trips to the doctors trying to find out what was happening.

Eventually, we came to the conclusion it was my anxiety. I thought this would be the end of it all. Now that I knew what it was, surely I'd be able to stop it. But no, that didn't happen at all. Instead it got worse. As I got older, the panic attacks and scarring thoughts also got worse. What really freaked me out, were the doctors I visited. Being told I'm too young to suffer from anxiety and then that it would only get worse when I grow up, weren't  the sort of things you want to be told.


I over think things a lot, I find it hard to joke around sometimes, I don't get 'banter'. If I get embarrassed, the thought won't  leave for the next couple of days. But it doesn't mean I'm boring. Please look out for people like me. You can't normally tell when someone's having an attack, but it never hurt to be more sensitive.

So after revisiting my school nurse, I was referred to CAMHS, a mental health service. This was only a few months ago, but today I had a little introduction to CBT. Therapy for the way things happen in my brain .

So basically, today we talked about panic attacks, and the science behind them.

Many anxiety sufferers have been told about the whole 'fight or flight' scenario, but what does that actually mean?
Once Upon a time, when WiFi didn't exist, we were cave men. In the session, the person used  little dolls to represent my family, and a Lego block to represent a tiger. She said to imagine walking across land with my brothers, (were really cool cavemen btw) when suddenly we see a tiger. What do we do? Our brain tells us to run away from the danger, in this case, the tiger. In modern day, school worries, financial or health problems. When we have panic attacks, a ton of stuff is going on inside our body.
And there's a reason for all of it! For example, I get weird feelings in my stomach. This is because  my digestive system has shut down in order for my blood to be with the vital organs, like the heart. When you run really fast, your heart needs to work really hard, right? That's why.I need the toilet, because my brain doesn't want to run away with a full bladder.. it makes sense, I hate doing pe if I need the toilet. I get headaches because i frown, and my blood pressure rises. This is why you might get back pains too. I get hot, then cold, then hot again, because of the blood moving towards the vital organs. It doesn't go near the tips of my fingers or my head. Finally, my vision goes blurry because when faced with a tiger for e.g., I'd be darting my eyes around trying to see if there were more of them surrounding me.

Knowing the science behind why we panic helped a lot! I really want to make a therapy journal, so for those who aren't comfortable talking to someone can find  out everything I do from my sessions. So why am I so open about it? Quite frankly, I don't  know. I've never hidden away from the  fact I suffer from this. However, I completely understand why some people don't feel the same way, because it can be really hard to talk to a complete stranger about it when you don't want go come across as needy or attention seeking. Of course I'd be annoyed  if someone told someone else about me without me knowing, because it's an important part of my life now and I'd want to tell them myself. That's one reason I'm doing this!


For someone who can't relate to any of this, this is a really boring  post and I get that. But I also know that there are a load of people going through what I am, but maybe don't have the facilities that I'm lucky to have.

My next appointment is in a couple of weeks, and because this was just an introductory session, the next session will be much more useful and interesting to write and read about, I promise!

Don't give up on me, I'll make this journal worth while, because  I really want to help you.

Lots of love, Ciara x


Ps, this doesn't mean I wont  be doing fashion and lifestyle posts too ;)

My Style Icons - Emma Watson

The majority of people have someone they look up to, and I'm no different! It can be hard, especially as a young person, to find the right balance between being inspired by them and their choices, and starting to copy their every move.

But anyway, I'm a huge fashion nerd so I thought it fitting to find my three style icons to share with you guys! Today's blog post is going to start with one, and then hopefully I'll upload the next couple soon! This way I can write more! 

EmmaWatson 

Because, well, it's Emma Watson! Since she was 11, Emma has been in front of cameras on films and on red carpets. Therefore, the pressure is on to look absolutely stunning (she always does anyway) all the time. 

Her fashion sense is gorgeous and the clothes she wears are so elegant. 

Here are a few of my favourite outfits :

Granted they probably cost a hell of a lot of money, but she earned it so that doesn't matter, and I'm sure you can find alternatives. (Like I'm gonna show you now 😁)

Original Emma

ASOS Outfit

Top - £26

Trousers - £36

Shoes - £39

Bag - £70 (prices I know, but it's Fred Perry)

Total Outfit Cost - £171

This basically turned out as an Emma Watson appreciation post.

Lots of love, Ciara X

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